Number Ten -- A complete and functional "porcelain convenience", only slightly used. [While the functionality of this prize should have disqualified it from consideration (disfunctionality or "defunct-ness" being the hallmark of a great door prize), it was deemed appropriate for inclusion here because of its intimate link to the most sacred ritual of the Lodge -- the secret greeting. Enough said.]
Number Nine -- The roadside sign from the Hillside Antique Shop -- The House of Elegant Junque, Harleysville, PA. (Somewhat warm.)
Number Eight -- An eighteen foot long sweep oar painted in the colors of Holy Spirit High School, Atlantic City, NJ.
Number Seven -- An aerial map of Saigon, glued to a 4' X 8' sheet of plywood.
Number Six -- The world's largest, heaviest, most indestructible (even for high school kids) and most "defunkt" hacksaw.
Number Five -- The one-gallon stainless steel soup ladle (without the pennies pitched into it each summer) which hung from the rafters above the entrance to the East Camp Trading Post, Hart Scout Reservation, Green Lane, PA.
Number Four & Number Three -- Each Lodge Brother is encouraged to make his own entries in these two slots, because the ultimate value of a door prize (and its place on this list) is truly in the eye and memory of the giver and the recipient, isn't it? (And anyone who says we've resorted to this trick simply because we can't remember ten different door prizes is a ....... well, suffice it to say, you would do well to remember the first rule of door prizes -- whoever gets it has to take it home.)
Number Two -- A ceremonial necklace of wooden ass-hole plugs, strung on window sash chain and embellished with a gold-plated medallion of turkey vulture poop.
And the Number One Door Prize of all Time -- What else, but a door, (hollow core, interior variety) with one large hole (perhaps fist-sized) marring its wood-grain surface.
